It's time to let you know that the BIG APP is under construction!

Sean Craig and Ryan Collins are working with about eighteen fellow students of Udacity, an online university, in at least five countries, to develop software that will "help people help people," as Sean says. These terrific young men came across Benefit Brownies and Waste Not Food Taxi on an international web forum (Quora), and offered to write this app specific to our mission of ending food waste in the greater Portland area and transporting excess food, instead, to people in need. 

I am not a tech person, so please contact me if you'd like to reach Sean or Ryan, but I believe this app will work similarly to Uber, wherein when a business has food to donate, they simply notify the app. The program will ping the nearest volunteer driver, who can accept or decline the request (in which case the program will move on to the next nearest volunteer). It will identify our partner agencies, also nearest first, and allow them to accept or decline the donation. In this way, we are confident that a few minutes from a whole bunch of concerned citizens can completely eliminate edible food ending up in the trash.

Starbucks, just this week, announced that by this time next year, all of their leftover edible food in all stores will be donated rather than thrown out. Of course, we're on deck to help them get the food from their stores to nearby non-profit organizations who are feeding people in need. Hopefully their lead will inspire other companies to take on the same goal.

Back to Sean and Ryan -- they're writing this software to be open-source. Once we work out the kinks here in the Portland area, it will be available to any city or community anywhere that has a heart for the hungry and a desire to eliminate waste. Fellow students as far-flung as England, Morocco, New Zealand, and Germany have jumped on the band wagon and are eagerly getting the project underway. The main build effort, a remote hack-a-thon, will take place, simultaneously around the globe, the first and second weekends in April, so by the end of the month, we'll be implementing it! 

What a marvelous way for students to create something useful and meaningful. Multiple organizations are working to reduce food waste all over the world, but not in conjunction with one another, and not for free. Of course, we also plan to offer Benefit Brownies sales for financial support, as all organizations have operational expenses. But as far as getting the work done, this is an entirely volunteer effort.

With all the discouraging news hitting us every day, isn't it terrific to hear about young people doing something meaningful, simply because they care?

Why on earth did I ever go into pastry as a specialty? Well, I know it has something to do with fond memories of my dad and my grandma baking with me, feeling loved and treasured by those two very special people. And I got good at it. But it's not very socially responsible to be a pusher of refined sugar, flour, and fat.  People love it and buy it, and I justify it by using the funds to help feed people in need. But still.

It's funny that I can't seem to get away from it. Most of our food donors so far are giving us bread, pastries, cookies, and cupcakes. What is it about this stuff? Well, it goes stale quickly, so bakers are constantly replacing products with fresh items. Part of what makes all those goodies so expensive is the large shrink rate, i.e., the percentage that gets thrown away. We're delighted to keep it all out of the trash and pass it on to people who don't get treats like that very often, but we sure hope we can get some nutritious food donations as well.

The foods most needed are, of course, the ones that just don't get donated -- meats, dairy, and fresh produce. I know this food is out there and getting thrown away. I just have to educate store managers. Dairy products are not spoiled when they reach their sell-by date. In fact, they're usually good for at least another week. Yogurt, cheese, and eggs stay safe and delicious for several weeks. Produce loses nothing by being a little limp or over-ripe. It's just harder to sell. Meat freezes so well, it can be received a couple of days after its sell-by date and cooked weeks or months later, when the need is greatest. Or cooked right away and frozen for later use.

Ground meat is really the only fresh food you want to use by the date stamped on it -- every bit of it has been exposed to air, and air contains bacteria, which will start to grow even under refrigeration. Whole roasts or birds can be skinned, trimmed, and washed to get bacteria off the surfaces and keep the meat safe, but you can't wash ground meat. 

There's your food storage lesson for today. With our access to refrigerators and freezers, we can properly handle any food donation and keep it safe. We just have to convince the sellers to send it our way. If you can help spread the word, please do. Every day that goes buy means thousands of tons of food going into dumpsters, and people still going hungry. We will turn this around. We must. 

Everybody has had their soul damaged. It's part of living. Needs not met, love not returned, prayers not answered -- every silver lining has a cloud. How do we recover? Many of us turn to our faith. We go to church, surround ourselves with people who share our philosophy and theology, and get at least commiseration if not healing. We pray and meditate and seek nature and focus on beauty. All these things help. But we're ignoring the biggest source of our pain and our greatest opportunity for healing.

This is going to get a little religious. For those who are uncomfortable with the word God, please substitute Love. God is love. I'm not pushing religion, just using expedient language. Thanks for understanding.

Our souls are interconnected. Even the most religious person has to acknowledge that the bible says God is found within our hearts, and when we gather, we are stronger, love is fed, possibilities are multiplied. We learn all this, and we surround ourselves with people who are like us. That's not where the greatest strength lies. The power to heal humanity is in reaching past those we know and touching someone different. 

Christianity, being born out of Judaism, has a tendency to want to stay the same, to avoid assimilation, to find support within a defined community. As many times as Jesus talked about other cultures, marginalized groups like invalids, prostitutes, the poor, the different, we are very good at insulating ourselves against those very people.

But healing comes from growth. Just like our bodies regrowing tissue to heal a wound, leaving a scar but becoming functional again, we need to grow, stretch, move, in order to heal our souls. We need to reach beyond our comfort zones and connect with strangers, make them friends, and contribute to global healing, the healing of mankind. "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven," a prayer taught to toddlers and repeated throughout life, means to treat life on earth as God wants it treated.

"The 'problem' of immigrants, welfare recipients, incarcerated, mentally ill, .... disabled, and all who are marginalized by mainstream society, is a problem of the incarnation. When we reject our relatedness to the poor, the weak, the simple, and the unlovable we define the family of creation over and against God. In place of God we decide who is worthy of our attention and who can be rejected." —Ilia Delio, as quoted by Richard Rohr in his excellent essay linked below.

​By playing God, by wallowing in our own power, by picking and choosing bits of religion as if it were an a la carte menu, we deny ourselves the greatest source of healing, joy, growth, and wisdom. Believe in God or don't, that's between you and God. But at least acknowledge that we are one species, one race, one culture. Our differences are so small compared to our relatedness.. 

Further reading: https://cac.org/gods-most-distressing-disguise-2016-03-23/

I highly recommend the movie, "Shelter" (2014), directed by Paul Bettany, available on Netflix. It has so many examples of what homelessness is really like, and how people from any background can end up on the streets, even if they have family. Tragedy will, most likely, hit each of us at some point. What do we do with it? How do we cope if we're alone? Can we get through it differently or better if there's someone who cares enough to help us heal?

One early scene depicts a character being released from jail and returning to his camp in an alley in New York. All his stuff is gone. I can't tell you how common this is. Especially for the newly homeless, acquiring possessions like clothing, blankets, rudimentary cooking and eating tools, and shoes is difficult enough. Then things get dirty or wet, and most of the clothes end up in the trash. It's easier to find a charity that's giving away clothing than it is to find a way to wash what they already have.

But harder than having to throw out perfectly good stuff, the homeless have to be ever vigilant to avoid theft. Individuals can't protect their belongings, because they have to sleep at some point. People need to pair up or join a group, and that's hard, because who can they trust? How do they know? There are a lot of con men and women out there who are extremely convincing. The only way one can identify a fake is that they usually don't actually sleep on the streets. They con and steal and beg very convincingly, and then go home to a nice warm bed. 

Drug addiction is addressed well in this movie. We as a society tend to dismiss drug addicts, figuring that they got themselves into this mess and we don't owe them anything. But why did they start? What crisis might push you over the edge, compelling you to do anything to escape the pain of your reality? Maybe the death of a spouse or child, or instant and unbearable debt, or getting caught at something that you're horrified of anyone finding out about you? What if you can't get health insurance and you break a bone or catch pneumonia or get cancer? Wouldn't you do whatever you could just to cover the pain for a little while?

There's a marvelous commercial (here) that shows an innovative support option for PTSD. I can't say more without ruining it. But the point is, if we have options, of course we'll take them. Homelessness, drug addiction, and hopelessness are the result of NOT having options. In this country and this time, we are the wealthiest civilization in the history of the world. How do we justify letting these desperate people suffer alone?

We have become such a money-oriented society that we think wealth can be equated with power. We really need to be wrong on this.

There are certainly things that money can do -- provide luxuries, influence people, support good causes, and of course, make more money. There are also things that money can't do -- provide happiness, inspire love, build communities, create art, develop faith. In fact, some of these are better developed when there isn't much money.

Then there are things that are being influenced by money that shouldn't be -- politics, of course. But also human rights. People of wealth are treated better than people of limited means. They have better access to health care, education, even food and water. What kind of planet are we running here, where it takes money to meet the basic human needs of water, shelter, food, health, and education? Is that really what we want? Well, of course, that goes back to politics and who is making the decisions about human rights. We have to use our voting power more effectively to create the world we want to live in.

Most importantly, I think, are the things that we are led to believe require money, but don't in reality. Money makes us lazy. It encourages us to choose the easy roads, the expedient results. Without it, we work harder. We need one another more. We think more about our priorities and come up with very different values than most wealthy folks. We share and communicate and give and care and do more good.

In building this charity, we're finding that there is even more food being thrown away than we were aware of, and businesses are being wonderful about allowing us to take it. We're finding dozens and dozens of local organizations that are helping people in need, and they're grateful for the food we're able to send their way. We're finding volunteer drivers and people to tend our booth and stores willing to carry our brownies. This is all happening with almost no money. Now we have a major need -- storage.

We have to have a place to organize donations, repackage food, and sometimes even cook. We keep thinking we need more money to rent space or pay for kitchen time or buy shelving. We don't. We need to tear down an old shed and build a new one, run water and power to it, and put in some shelves. We need to work with local merchants to get donated materials. We need to ask skilled friends to dig down to the sewer line so we can run a drain. 

Sure, it would be easier to grow if we had a bunch of money and could hire someone to just handle this project. But what good would that do? Would it make more people aware of our causes? Would it give anyone without a bunch of money an opportunity to contribute, to make a difference? Would it develop relationships, build community, open doors to possibilities we've never dreamed of? Of course not! 

Money makes a lot of things easier, sure. But there is very little in life that is better because of money. It may not be the root of all evil, but I believe it has a lot to do with laziness. It takes a lot more work to get through life without money. That work brings returns that wealthy people can't even imagine.

I'm always working on a book. Rarely do I finish. Now that I'm "retired," though, it seems I should be getting better at finishing things. So I'm writing.

One book is simple -- it's just my favorite recipes, the ones people have asked for over the years. I suspect it'll just be an e-book to share with family and friends. I keep thinking it's small, but it's 30 pages already and I haven't typed in most of the recipes yet. Stay tuned, and if you want a copy, please let me know.

The second book is one I'm more excited about. My mom gave me her mother's diary from 1913, and the story of her great grandfather's life, who was born in 1829. I'm intertwining the two and writing a historical fiction. I've never attempted fiction, so we'll see. It's a good project.

Anyway, with both of those to work on, and the writing I try to keep up with on quora.com, and of course the charity work, I'm getting kinda busy. Please forgive me if I don't get around to posting here more than a couple of times a week.

Speaking of charity, things are hopping around here! Whole Foods is thinking about carrying our brownies! I'll know for sure later this week. We'll appeal to New Seasons this week, too. Raising funds is becoming more necessary, because we're getting donations of food, clothing, and toiletries almost every day, sometimes several in a day. I'm delighted, and I have to be careful not to waste gas. 

Writing is over for the day already, and time to go pick up donations, deliver them to pantries, and restock our retailers. A good day in the land of Benefit Brownies.

My wise husband first mentioned this phrase several years ago, in relation to some decision we were making that doesn't matter anymore. But it's a great concept -- that just because you have invested in something doesn't mean it's worthwhile to continue with it. We often think, "But I've put so much time into it already; I hate to give up now," even if giving up is the sensible thing to do.

I received a truckload of wood chips three years ago. These are always available for free, in case you didn't know. You can call your local electricity provider or larger landscaping services, and they'll be delighted to drop off a load of wood chips rather than have to pay to dump it elsewhere. Great idea, right? 

I was going to landscape our front yard. As lawns go, our dandelions were looking pretty strong, and there are a few struggling old rose bushes, but that was it. I was going to plant shrubs, get some decorative rocks, use wood chips as the ground cover for a while and eventually plant a native mix of creeping myrtle, clover, etc. First step -- free wood chips.

If you've never seen 15 cubic yards of wood chips, just imagine Mt. Hood, except bigger. Well, close up it looked bigger. The oh-so-helpful landscaper decided it was too hard to dump in our driveway, so he kindly placed the small mountain in the street. Granted it did block the lane, but not the stop sign (there was at least a car length behind the stop sign before the three-car-length pile began), but the neighbors weren't exactly thrilled, and they figured I should move the mountain in exactly three days, if not sooner. They didn't mention this to my face, but politely left clever little notes stuck in the pile like, "Really?!"

Shoveling is good exercise, right? This is what I wanted, right? I shoveled my heart out for about a week, and got some help from the rest of the family, and we moved a mountain. Surprisingly, it wasn't enough to cover the whole yard! Well, I might have to wait a month or two to get a second load, because my muscles were really sore.

My muscles didn't get better. My right shoulder was particularly bad, but I attributed it to referred pain from my liver disease, which was a lot of my motivation for giving up my wonderful church office manager job. Turns out I had blown out my rotator cuffs in both shoulders. Only the right one hurt, so I got the surgery done, healed, and found another job.

Whoops, that new job was waaaay too much for me physically, although I did lose about 30 pounds there, so that was nice. My knees never stopped aching in six months. Shortly after starting there, Social Security approved my disability claim (based on the liver issues, I think, but thank God, because my joints were not happy). Gratefully, I quit the bakery job, got my first knee replacement, and looked forward to doing something charitable, since we were going to be fine financially. "Going to" being the operative words. 

I finally got the second shoulder surgery last month, and here it is almost Spring again (don't forget to turn your clocks ahead!), and boy, it sure would be nice to get the rest of that front yard barked over.

No. Not gonna happen. No way, no how. I know it looks funny half done. I know there's potential for curb appeal. I know I put hours and hours and sweat and pain into getting it this far. But my wood chip shoveling days are over. Maybe down the road we'll have a little leeway in the budget and I can hire someone to do something smarter with the yard, but I'm not dwelling on it. I'm going to be grateful that the shoulder repairs were covered by insurance, which landscaping wouldn't be, but it was still a terrible deal.

Cost sunk. Good riddance. Step away. Don't look back. Wisdom learns and moves on. 

I feel a certain amount of guilt, baking and selling sugar-filled treats to raise funds. The fundraising is the redeeming factor, of course, and I bake because it's what I know, and people go ga-ga over fancy sweets. But I know I can do better. I found an affordable fairly-traded organic cocoa source, I use local butter and eggs, and I try not to add anything artificial. (Some garnishes and sprinkles have artificial colors.)

What really pushed me over the edge, though, was when other Saturday Market vendors started coming by right at opening time, hoping to find something for breakfast. My brownies and fudge are way worse than a breakfast sandwich. I cringe as I sell them to people intending to substitute them for actual food.

So here's my newest product, still a sweet treat, but more good-for-you than bad, and I hope it meets a need. Try it at home and let me know what you think!

Better-For-You Bars

4 cups finely shredded carrots
3 cups organic coconut sugar
3 cups organic gluten-free flour (I use Namaste brand)
6 eggs
1 1/2 cups light olive oil
1 1/2 Tbsp. baking powder
1 1/2 Tbsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. salt
1 cup ground unsweetened coconut (macaroon coconut)
1 cup chopped walnuts
1 1/2 cups raisins

Stir everything together and spread in a lightly-greased 1/2-sheet baking pan or two 9x13" cake pans. Bake at 350 for 40 minutes. Cool. (Should work great as loaves or muffins, just adjust baking time until center springs back when touched.)

If desired, stir some coconut sugar into cream cheese to taste for topping, or sprinkle top with coconut sugar.

​Makes 40 bars, approx. 2 x 3.5 x 1".

Last week I talked about the Israel/Palestine conflict, and how it seemed to me that Israel ought to respect the boundaries that the international community set for both countries. What I didn't talk about was how recently it was that Palestine was recognized as its own country at all, and how the Israelis have been struggling to have a home land for hundreds of years.

​I don't stand firmly on either side. Rather, I see this as an opportunity to look at the people and their hearts, rather than the countries and their borders.

I tend to see the Palestinian dilemma more easily because I'm a newcomer to the debate, and I look at the disagreement with only the currently defined borders. Before just a couple of years ago, Palestine wasn't a recognized country in and of itself. It was just the Arab name for the piece of land that is now shared by Israel and the newly recognized country of Palestine. The Arab and Jewish conflict is ancient and seems never ending. How can Israel recognize Palestine, when it appears to them to be just another way for Arab peoples to deny them a homeland again?  

Anyone who has read the bible knows that the Israelites/Jews/Hebrews have an ancient history of seeking land, seeking freedom from slavery and oppression, seeking a home where they can live in peace. Of course they are fighting fiercely to claim that home, no matter what current global governments are saying right now. It's not just about right now for them. A large part of Jewish tradition is to keep themselves from being assimilated into other cultures. This has always been a struggle, since they've always shared land with dominating governments, since the days of the pharaohs of Egypt.

It's so difficult to see the struggle clearly, to empathize with people on both sides of the battle, knowing that no one wants to be fighting and that they feel they have no choice. It's been the same since the beginning of time -- a fight between one tribe and another for the better piece of land, hunting ground, access to irrigated land, control of trade routes. It continues in every country even today, when so many of us would hope that our willingness to go to war abate by now. But to war we go.

We privileged Americans in the 21st century cannot understand how deeply the Israelis value their homeland and how important it is to them to keep Arab nations from encroaching on it. We cannot understand how much the citizens of newly-formed Palestine feel injustice when Israel occupies land they believe to be theirs. 

We think of war as aggression. What if we took a different perspective and thought of it as pain? No one wants to go to war. It's a last resort of desperate people, people who don't want their young adults going into battle and dying by the hundreds, but don't know how to get their needs met or defend the accomplishments of their ancestors or hope to escape poverty and find a better life. We are a stubborn, willful race, and we easily believe that we are right and everyone else is wrong. What if we tried to acknowledge one another's pain, and then worked on solutions? What if we looked at every other culture as a decent, kind, loving people who just have unmet needs?

We can practice with the poor among us, the refugees and immigrants, the mentally ill, the people of other faiths or no faith, the desperate who turn to drugs or prostitution or alcohol to try to escape the hell that is their lives, the LGBT individuals who just want to be allowed to create the households that work for them and have a fair shot at jobs and to walk down the street without fear. What if we start by acknowledging the fear, the pain, the loneliness, the vulnerability, not just in them, but also in ourselves? Once we start recognizing a part of ourselves in one another, can we really go to war with each other?

I highly recommend a movie, Joyeux Noel, released in 2005. Two opposing armies in trenches across a no-man's land commemorate Christmas. It will touch your heart.

I talked yesterday about how I always feel safe, primarily because experience has shown me that my needs will always be met. This is a luxury I cannot share with people living on the street, and I especially feel for the women. 

Most homeless folks tend to find other people in similar circumstances to share with, to protect one another's belongings, to engage in simple human connection. This seems to be a little easier for the men; I don't know why. Perhaps they have more strength or confidence, or it's because there are so many more men living out there than women. (Women and children are more likely to find space in shelters, whereas single men often aren't allowed.) Men tend to stay homeless longer, and they are more inclined to accept their circumstances at some point, and stop fighting to get back into mainstream living. So over time they find more "neighbors."

Women often feel that they must have a relationship with a man for their own survival. The rest of society has mostly grown past that traditional necessity, but women on the street are a lot like women of 200 years ago -- they don't have enough strength or resources of their own, so they rely on the protection of someone stronger, more connected to the homeless community, and more likely to scare off would-be trouble, whether it's thieves or rapists. (Seriously, it's that bad out there.)

I met a woman recently who had been beaten up and left by her boyfriend. She slept alone a couple of nights before all her belongings were stolen. Without a man nearby, thieves get bolder. She was physically OK, for the most part, but she now had nothing but the clothes on her back and the blanket she was sleeping in. How on earth do we help someone like that? I'm so not equipped to make any meaningful difference. We gave her a hot meal, and talked about resources, shelters, social workers, emergency contact numbers. She confessed that sometimes it's just easier to get arrested, because then you're at least in from the cold, reasonably safe, and getting fed. 

Why are we as a society more willing to lock people up than we are to provide shelter and necessities for those who have none? Prisons cost so much more! We have to find a better way to deal with non-violent offenders, so the money supporting them could be put to use caring for people in need. If we, humanity, could just bring ourselves to think first of how to help instead of how to hold accountable, imagine the world we would create for our children.